Character List – GOING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS By Dakota Balmore
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ANNE ARUNDEL: A
13-year-old. The bleeding heart.
KATHERINE
ARUNDEL: A 12-year-old. Sister to Anne. The practical skeptic.
VICTORIA ARUNDEL: A 10-year-old. Sister to Anne. The
bubbly wit.
REGINA ARUNDEL: An 8-year-old. Sister to Anne. The
picky one.
ELIZABETH
ARUNDEL: A 6-year-old. Sister to Anne. The curious one.
MR. ARUNDEL: A
father and English government representative to Ireland serving Cork County,
Ireland.
MACAYLE BYRNE: A 12-year-old Irish orphan.
MISS ROSENA
IVANYA: 20: Black-haired Englishwoman of East European and Russian stock. The
only teacher at the Charlotte Wimpole School for the Poor in Cork. Hired to
tutor the Arundel Children part time.
SWEENEY: A friendly constable for Cork County.
KILROY: A nasty constable for Cork County.
MR. TALLYWAG:
A poorhouse beadle.
MISS CHARLOTTE WIMPOLE: A
21-year-old red-headed, petite, news correspondent for Charles Dickens’s
tabloid the Daily News.
EMMA: The parlor maid.
COOK: The Arundel family cook.
SETS: 1. Outside
the Arundel house.
2. On a street in Cork.
3. Inside the Arundel parlor.
4. In a park in Cork.
TIME: Late December, 1846.
PLACE: Cork, Ireland
SCENE I: On a street in Cork, Ireland a few days before Christmas: When the curtain rises, we see a façade of stores upstage. A toy store U. L., a Bakery U. C., and an Apothecary U. R. The five Arundel girls are U. L. looking at the toy store. MACAYLE enters C. R. and pauses to size them up. The girls are attired in fine English dresses circa 1846. Macayle is wearing tattered rags.
MACAYLE
Hello. You English?
ANNE
Steps to the right of the other girls.
I beg your pardon. Are you talking to us?
MACAYLE
Of course I’m talkin’ to you. Do you see anyone else about?
ANNE
Well…in England, strange men never speak to ladies to whom they have not been properly introduced…unless they are spoken to first.
MACAYLE
By St. George’s dragon…this is Ireland, not England.
ANNE taps her
foot loudly and waits for a proper response.
All right, then. Let’s pretend that the last thing you said was the first thing that was said. That’ll mean you talked first. Are you happy now?
ANNE
Turns her back on him and
sticks her nose in the air.
Impertinent imp.
MACAYLE
I’m hungry. I’ve got no use for proper manners. Where do you live? Can I come by later an’ get some food?
ANNE
In shock.
Absolutely not. If you think…
VICTORIA
Interrupting ANNE.
36 Doubloon Street. And we would be happy to help a starving boy.
REGINA
Yes. Especially at Christmas time. We just arrived in Cork a few days ago: from London.
KATHERINE
By the Queen’s fine tarts, do not be the fool, Regina…Victoria. You know papa would tan us good for bringing a beggar boy home.
MACAYLE
When do you take your evenin’ meal?
ANNE
Waves a threatening finger at her sisters.
How rude! Do not tell him Regina…Victoria.
ELIZABETH
Steps out from her sisters.
Seven o’clock.
KATHERINE
Yanks ELIZABETH back into their midst.
Elizabeth!
MACAYLE
Points to them.
Are you sisters?
ELIZABETH
The Arundel sisters.
KATHERINE clamps a hand over ELIZABETH’S
mouth. ELIZABETH utters muffled sounds and finally manages to pull KATHERINE’S
hand away to say very quickly:
Anne, Katherine, Victoria, Regina, and…
KATHERINE
clamps a hand over ELIZABETH’S mouth again. ELIZABETH utters more muffled
sounds and once more pulls KATHERINE’S hand away for a final spurt of
communication.
ELIZABETH (continued)
And me…Elizabeth.
KATHERINE clamps both hands over ELIZABETH’S
mouth. ELIZABETH utters more muffled sounds. She stops when KILROY enters.
KILROY
Enters R. with Constable SWEENEY
Lad…you…beggar boy. You leave those girls alone, you hear me?
SWEENEY
Gentle.
What’s your name, boy?
MACAYLE
Macayle Byrne.
SWEENEY
Have you no parents, Macayle?
MACAYLE
Shakes his head “no.”
I’m not goin’ to no poorhouse. You can’t make me do it!
KILROY
Crossing to MACAYLE.
I’m afraid you have no choice. Now, stop pesterin’ these fine young girls an’ come along with us.
SWEENEY
Mister Kilroy, maybe he has a relative we can take him to. You know how the little ones wind up with them after they’re orphaned. Some don’t want to stay, an’ run off. The poorhouses are stuffed to the gills as it is.
KILROY
No, Mister Sweeney, I know his kind. It’s to the poorhouse where they can deal with him.
As the two constables move closer, MACAYLE
darts L. behind the girls. When the constables pass downstage of the girls,
MACAYLE moves swiftly upstage. This goes on for several seconds as MACAYLE
always manages to keep the girls between he and the constables. Finally, KILROY plows rudely into the girls, parting
them, and MACAYLE runs off L. The constables run off after him.
KATHERINE
By the Queen’s fine tarts, Victoria. You and Elizabeth have mouths big enough to swallow Jonah.
KATHERINE pushes VICTORIA.
Whatever possessed you to tell him where we lived? Now we are going to have a beggar boy come knocking on our door.
ELIZABETH
I do not think so. He is going to get kotched.
VICTORIA
Kotched? Elizabeth…we have only been in Ireland a few days and already you are picking up improper English. I told mama this would happen.
REGINA
She is just too young to travel.
ELIZABETH
Hold your tongue, Regina. I was not speaking to you.
KATHERINE
Regina and Elizabeth…you will both settle down right now. Victoria, stop being the cause of all the trouble between them.
VICTORIA
Me? It was not I who….
REGINA
You are asking for a miracle, Katherine. Victoria will never change.
ANNE
Seriously quiet.
Hush, Regina. Come, let us all go home before it gets dark. If the beggar boy does show up, we will just ignore him.
The girls exit R.
Lights out.
SCENE II: A few hours later just up Doubloon Street outside the Arundel home: When the curtain rises, MACAYLE is standing C. S. ANNE enters R. and stops. The backdrop is of a house next to a park. ANNE has a piece of wrapped cloth in her hands. Both children are dressed as before.
ANNE
Stands R. looking MACAYLE over. MACAYLE
grins wide after several seconds of awkwardness.
Macayle, you have caused a lot of trouble. You have my sisters fighting with one another, and me bringing you food from my father’s table. I could be punished for a very long time if papa ever found out.
MACAYLE waves ANNE to come to him as he
gestures towards his mouth with the other hand. When ANNE comes over to him, he
greedily takes the cloth from her hands, plops down on the ground, tears it
open, and stuffs half a baked potato in his mouth. He quickly spits it out on
the cloth.
Yes, the potato is very hot. I own that had you given me the chance, I would have told you so.
MACAYLE picks up pieces of the spit out
potato from the cloth, blows on them, and stuffs them into his mouth. ANNE sits
next to him and watches in utter fascination.
I do not think I have ever seen anyone eat quite so fast. You must be exceptionally hungry.
MACAYLE
After several gulps of potato.
Are you Katherine?
ANNE
No…I am Anne.
MACAYLE
Stuffing more potato in his mouth, he does
not wait to swallow to continue talking.
By St. George’s dragon…that is good. Katherine is the nasty one. Well, thank you, Anne Arundel…an’ bless you. I have not had anythin’ to eat since yesterday mornin’.
ANNE
I really did not appreciate the way you kept tapping on the window. My father thought it was a scoundrel at first and very nearly sent for a constable. There seems to be a lot of highwaymen on the loose in Ireland.
MACAYLE
That is the fault of you English. Our potato crops are failin’ miserably, an’ you will not send us anythin’ to eat in its place. Men get desperate an’ take to stealin’ on the roads. That’s why there are highwaymen about.
ANNE
It is not our fault. We are trying to help as best we can.
MACAYLE
Then get the English an’ Irish landlords off the farmers’ backs. Me father said before he caught the fever, that if it were not for the cruelty of the landlords, we could use the other crops to live on.
ANNE
And pay no rent for the land. The farmers get the potatoes and give the other crops up for rent. I know something about it, Macayle. My father is in Cork helping to find out why so many people are starving. He is the English representative for the whole of Cork County and reports directly to your Conciliation Hall government in Dublin.
MACAYLE
Last year…me father said the poor potato crop should have warned the English that somethin’ awful was comin’. Instead they chose to ignore it figurin’ the crop of 1846 would be better…an’ it was worse: much worse!
ANNE
With concern.
I am awfully sorry your people are starving. My father will do everything to help. Of that I am certain.
MACAYLE
Apologize to the starvin’ Irish farmers. I don’t think they have much faith in the English.
MACAYLE takes a big bite out of the potato
and fans his mouth.
Maybe it would be better if the English gave us up as a colony an’ let us lead our own lives.
ANNE
With sympathy.
By-the-by, maybe. At any rate, it is too big a problem for we children to solve.
MACAYLE
It sure is strange…your father comin’ here a few days before Christmas. I would think it would have been better for all of you to spend Christmas in England with your family, an’ come after that.
ANNE
Well…that goes to show how concerned he is about your people. If he cannot help you, then no one can.
KATHERINE
Enters R. and stops. She looks very angry as
she thrusts her hands into her hips.
By the Queen’s fine tarts…Anne Arundel! Regina said you came out here, and now I see why. Are you feeding that beggar boy?
MACAYLE
Oh, by the sweet caress of the blarney stone…that has to be Katherine.
ANNE
I had to get him to stop tapping on the window, Katherine.
KATHERINE
Impatient.
Papa would boil you in sealing wax if he knew what you were about.
ANNE
I know. He must not find out.
VICTORIA
Enters R. and stands next to KATHERINE.
Is it not marvelous? Having our very own boy come round, I mean. What should we call him?
ANNE
Let us call him Macayle. It is his name after all. He is not a pet, Victoria.
REGINA and ELIZABETH enter R.
Oh, that is just wonderful. Papa is going to notice that we all are gone and come looking for us.
MISS IVANYA
Enters L. and crosses to the seated
children. ANNE rises.
Hello, children. Is the Arundel residence just down the street?
REGINA
Yes, ma’am. And we are the Arundels.
MISS IVANYA
Looks MACAYLE over for several seconds.
Oh, my. I was not aware that there was a brother.
VICTORIA
He is not our brother. He is a starving Irish boy. Is he not cute?
REGINA
His name is Macayle, Victoria.
VICTORIA
I know that, Regina.
REGINA
Then do not call him a starving Irish boy.
VICTORIA
I was not talking to you. Mind your bees wax, Regina.
REGINA makes a
face and VICTORIA returns the favor.
MISS IVANYA
Five little girls then. Oh, how much it will be like home back on Heathcote Street in London.
MISS IVANYA
points to ANNE.
Are you the eldest?
ANNE shakes her
head “yes.”
Then you are the same as I in my family for I am the eldest of five girls. My name is Miss Ivanya: Rosena Ivanya. I am here by appointment to see your father. He is looking for a part time tutor for you girls. I teach at the Charlotte Wimpole School for the Poor during the day…so I will only be able to see you girls on evenings and Saturdays.
ANNE
Yes, mama mentioned it. She is schooling us in the day time. Papa wanted someone to teach us the things mama does not know.
MISS IVANYA
It will be so nice to study together. Myself and the five little “Miss Bennets.”
KATHERINE
Stern.
We are not Bennets. We are Arundels.
MISS IVANYA
Oh, my. You mean none of you know of Jane Austen’s book Pride and Prejudice?
All the girls
shake their heads “no.”
Then the first thing you will read will be about Jane Austen’s Bennet family. Maybe there is a lesson in it for you since there were five Bennet daughters. There was a nice lesson in it for the five Ivanya girls.
ELIZABETH
Who are your sisters?
MISS IVANYA
Bela, Margo, Svetna…and Ellen.
REGINA
Ellen is right enough…but those others…they are the strangest names.
MISS IVANYA
That is because my mother is Russian and my father is from Slovakia
VICTORIA
Slovakia?
MISS IVANYA
It is in Eastern Europe. We should do some geography as well, I think.
KATHERINE
I think it good we all hush now, or Miss Ivanya will want to be teaching us everything in the world.
MISS IVANYA
Looks at MACAYLE closely.
Perhaps, Macayle, you would like to attend my school. It is for girls and boys who cannot afford to pay for the public school.
MACAYLE
No, ma’am. Me thinks not. I never had no schoolin’.
MISS IVANYA
Are you from the city of Cork?
MACAYLE
No, ma’am. I’m from Skibbereen.
MISS IVANYA
Knowingly.
Ah…Skibbereen. That is a good forty miles west of here. How have you come to be so far from home?
MACAYLE
Me mother died leavin’ me with no parents or family. I come to Cork to get adopted. I want a home…so that I may have one to go to for Christmas.
MISS IVANYA
Skibbereen…the great Miss Wimpole, who founded my school, very recently returned from there.
MACAYLE
Interested, he looks up.
She did? Who is Miss Wimpole?
MISS IVANYA
Charlotte Wimpole is probably more famous than even she would admit. She helped your local doctor in Skibbereen when the cholera struck.
MACAYLE
Jumps to his feet.
Is she very short…a redhead?
MISS IVANYA shakes her head “yes.”
The English nurse! Everyone in Skibbereen remembers her. She saved me mother’s life. Me father died at home with the fever, an’ I told me mother about the doctor an’ his English nurse in town. I begged her to go…an’ Miss Wimpole saved her life.
He lowers his head sadly.
It is a shame that it was saved for nothin’. We was robbed a month ago for what little we had by highwaymen.
Looking up
intensely
MACAYLE (continued)
I begged me mother to let them have the stuff, but she put up a fight an’ they killed her for it right enough.
MISS IVANYA
Puts a hand on MACAYLE’S shoulder.
I am sorry for you, Macayle.
MACAYLE
Quickly pulls away from her.
Don’t feel sorry for me.
MACAYLE recovers
his ill feelings.
Do you know Miss Wimpole?
MISS IVANYA
Know her? She is my very best friend in the world. It was she who wrote to me after my schoolmaster training in London and asked me to come and establish a school for the poor. You know, she lives just north of the city…with the O’Hanlon family.
MACAYLE
Is she still nursin’?
MISS IVANYA
No. She came to Ireland last February to report on the potato famine. She is a correspondent for Mr. Charles Dickens’s tabloid, the Daily News. The nursing was something she did to get a firsthand look at what was really going on.
MACAYLE
Excited again.
By St. George’s dragon…do you think I can meet her sometime? I would like to thank her for savin’ me mother’s life.
MISS IVANYA
If you go to her school…she comes round from time to time.
MACAYLE shakes his head “no.”
I have known her since she was nine and I was eight. I tell you what. The next time she comes round, I will have her tell me when she will come round again. You come by the school once in a while, and I will let you know when she is coming. The school is on Tierney Street. Is that all right with you?
MISS IVANYA (continued)
MACAYLE shakes his head “yes.” MISS IVANYA
turns to the girls.
Would you mind taking me to meet your parents now? You all seem like such nice girls. I think that we will have a very good relationship together: you, I, and Miss Jane Austen.
ELIZABETH
And don’t forget the Bennets.
MISS IVANYA smiles and shakes her head “no.”
KATHERINE
Come on then. Anne, you stay here until Macayle finishes his food, then he better be gone and never come back. I will make an excuse to papa for you …but hurry.
All the girls go off R. with MISS IVANYA
except ANNE.
ANNE
Leads MACAYLE to the L.
Almost done? Take the rest with you. I cannot dally.
MACAYLE
I will come again tomorrow.
ANNE
No, Katherine is right. It is best you do not come back. My father would be furious if he found out what we did tonight.
MACAYLE
By St. George’s dragon…tomorrow I will be hungry again.
ANNE
Then go and see Miss Ivanya. She will probably be too soft-hearted to turn you away.
They have reached the far L. MACYALE forces
ANNE to stop. He turns around to face her and kisses her quickly on the cheek.
MACAYLE
Thank you, Anne Arundel.
ANNE
Watches MACAYLE run off L., and then she quickly wipes her cheek with great
concern. As she is vigorously wiping it, she slows down gradually and gets a
big grin on her face. She looks at the hand that was wiping her face.
Well, what do you know: my first kiss.
She turns and skips off R.
Lights out
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